Shut Up, And Let’s Hear It From The Source!

As the terrible events unfold tonight in Paris, the cacophony has already begun. Different groups claiming responsibility, because “we punish unbelievers as Allah tells us!”.

Really? That kind of codswallop is the same as we hear from far-righters in this country who espouse killing abortion doctors. It’s the same twaddle in Myanmar that has Buddhist monks attacking Rohynga Muslims. (Rohinga? I’ve seen it both ways.) And it’s at the base of that old turmoil in Palestine/Israel, each side claiming they speak for their supreme being.

Here’s a novel idea. SHUT UP! Let God/Allah/Jehovah/Buddha or whoever you worship, speak for themselves. There is love for your fellow man (or woman, or alien in my case) aplenty in both Christ’s gospels and the Koran (Quran?). i can’t speak for the rest, but aren’t Buddhists supposed to be the epitome of chill? I’ve read a lot of books on various religions, including many pagan variations, and most of them have FAR more to say about getting along with your fellow being than in waging war on them. I’m tired of whackjobs telling me what plans the Supreme Being has for me. I don’t want to hear it at gunpoint, or over the blast 0f a bomb, or ducking incoming rocket or mortar fire. And for the ultimate bottom line – if you don’t want me blowing YOU up for whatever I believe, why can’t the same be true in reverse?

Sadly, I know my pleas will fall on logical ears (pointed or otherwise), and will never reach those who need to hear it most. But what a wonderful thought to end this horrific day with – don’t tell me what the big Somebody Else wants to tell me, let me get it straight from the source. It translates much better that way – and nobody has to die in the process.

And may the sunrise of Saturday wash the Parisian streets with the light and warmth of millions of caring souls sending prayers and best wishes from around the world, and may it let the whole world see that the evening of Friday the 13th was just a single, brief, sad nightmare, and that the weeks to come will overcome hate with love. Bon Noir!

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Je Suis Paris.

A truly horrible Friday the 13th, with (by some counts) as many as 140+ people dead in the French capitol. Hold the City of Lights in your thoughts tonight. And think of this wonderful image, from the Twitter feed of Jon Swaine (@jonswaine) via the BBC’s online feed:

One World Trade Center 🇫🇷

One World Trade Center 🇫🇷

Blue, white, and red – the French flags colour in order, top to bottom. One World Trade Center stands with Paris tonight. As we all should.

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A Conspiracy Theory To Beat the Band.

(Disclaimer: I am not making fun of the tragedy of the Russian airliner that crashed in the Sinai desert. I also don’t really believe this bundle of bushwa I’m about to drop. But I think it’s a fun exploration of the lunacy behind conspiracy theories.)

A representative of the Russian airline, Metrojet, has stated the crash of the Airbus A321 in the Sinai desert had to be caused by “outside influences”, i.e. not due to faults with the plane or crew. But that suggests a shoot-down. In light of the theories springing up from the dual Malaysian losses of MH17 and MH370, what is the most unlikely cause for this incident?

Schwinn did it.

Here’s how it goes. Many Syrian refugees have found a “back door” into Europe, via a small border crossing between Norway and Russia way, WAY up north. The trick is, the Norwegian laws forbid walking across, so the refugees have to buy bicycles. Once across the border, the Norwegians crush the bikes. (Whimper!) So … Schwinn arranged to supply missiles to IS that could reach the altitude the Metrojet flight was at. This will cause Russia to get pissier than usual, and move more troops to southern climes around the Middle East. This will decrease the number of border guards available in the North, allowing the refugees an easier passing to the border crossing in the far North, requiring a larger supply of expendable bicycles, thus giving Schwinn a huge windfall selling bikes to the people smugglers who sell them to the refugees. Advantage: Schwinn!

Now, for my next trick, I’ll explain why gas prices go up the MOMENT the price of crude oil rises, but remains high when crude prices drop. Stay tuned – I’ll need a faster connection to shovel such a copious load of crap. :D

Posted in Current Events, Humor | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Whew, At Last I Can BREATHE!

I have been turning colours over the past few weeks, afraid to even THINK the wrong things. Now, at last, all is back to normal. Let me explain.

First, though, a few background facts. Fact one: I don’t like baseball. (Sorry, Frank!) It’s a bit slow for me. The fact that baseball often interrupted, delayed, or even cancelled syndicated runs of “Star Trek” on my hometown station WGN-TV (Chicago’s Very Own Channel 9) caused a fair amount of my dislike.

Fact Two: I am a North-Sider. There are no generic Chicagoans. You are either North-Side (and thus a Cubs fan) or South-Side (and thus a White Sox scum … er … fan). Thus, despite my lack of enthusiasm for baseball, I am – by birth and by upbringing – a Cubs fan.

Fact Three: I like goats. A goat was once my best friend.

So what does all this mean? Well, the Cubs actually looked like they were gonna get somewhere this year. And that they might even make it to the World Series, breaking the infamous Billy Goat Curse. So I’ve been in the middle of a dilemma. As proven with England’s fate in the World Cup last year, if I root for a team, they lose. I’m a pariah, and that’s fine. But the Cubs – and more so, the fans – deserved to have their day in the sun (or at the Series). So how could I root for a team if by doing so, I make them lose? How can I hope that goats lose their power over baseball, knowing I like the former and dislike the latter? So here I’ve sat, a dedicated North-Sider and goat fan, wanting to cheer on the Cubs while scared to do so, wanting both the goat and those cursed by the goat to win.

But I shouldn’t have worried. The Cubs have choked in the clinch – a grand tradition in Chicago sports in general, and especially in Cubs history. And now I can love goats (not literally, you perverts!) and dislike baseball again. And still, way down deep in my heart, continue my love-hate relationship with the team Steve Goodman once called “the doormat of the National League”. Who know, maybe next year……

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So Harper’s Oot, Eh?

A big win for the Liberals in Canada tonight. Can’t say I was a huge fan of the winner’s (Justin trudeau’s) father, but I think Justin will do well for Canada. I just really have only one huge, overwhelming, mind-blowing question:

In who’s effed-up mind was it a good idea to have Rob Ford, ex-Toronto mayor and crack-lover, stump for Harper? What’s the matter, they couldn’t get Charles Manson? 8O

Oh, and if Archon reads this, I still haven’t gotten that application form for Canadian citizenship from you. You know, just in case the Rob Fords of THIS country get into office next year…. ;)

Posted in Canada Stuff, Politics | Tagged , | 5 Comments

Why She, Above All?

I dream, and I am at a trial. Around are those who will judge, all beautiful ladies from around the world. Lyrical names like Kongo and Yamato, stern names such as Bismarck and Scharnhorst, practical ones like Arizona and Utah, and historic ones such as Hood and Prince of Wales, are all in the front row. Many rows stretch into the distance – too many to count. I see a gaunt figure, clad in black, face obscured. And in the centre, stands one young lady, so pale as to seem a spirit.

The black arm points to me, and I hear a whisper of a voice – “Why Her, above all these lost across time? Why should a ghost walk in memory when so many more deserving slip into darkness, forgotten?”

I think for a few seconds, as I recall the story of the young spectre. I remember, and I look into the rows stretching into the distance. Though my throat tightens, I manage to work the words out.

“She deserves to stand among you, for though her existence is a flight of fancy, the spirit of her sacrifice is all too real. She threw herself into an impossible battle, fighting an unconquerable foe, to protect the weak and buy them time to flee. The sight of her valiant struggle lifted the hearts of all who saw, and though she fell at the last, she lived to the fullest, the most any of you could hope for.”

The black figure pauses. After a few minutes, the arm raises again. “Shall we add her name to our list, then, and permit her the immortality which all others here have so painfully earned?”

I can’t hold back the tears, but I nod. “Yes, sir, please. She deserves no less, and will help we poor humans to remember all here, so much the better.”

The black figure looks to the gallery, and there is a murmur I cannot understand, yet somehow know to be positive. The figure points to the little one in the centre, and speaks a final sentence.

“So be it. Brought here before your greater kin, all those who gave all and more, you have been found to be worthy. Thanks to this human, you will be allowed to join your sisters here.”

Then he turns to me. “Go now, and remember all these names. Speak them with the reverence they so richly deserve. And thanks to you, you can speak one more name with them – HMS Thunderchild.”

I awake with a start, then smile, wipe away a single tear, and close the book I’ve been reading – “The War of the Worlds”. Goodnight,and rest easy, HMS Thunderchild.

Posted in Military, Science Fiction | Tagged , | 1 Comment


Nope, I’m not having a stroke (yet), nor is my computer possessed. (Well, lemme get back to you on that one – the Caps Lock key has been spinning 360 degrees, and it barfed the left-arrow key up a few days ago – true story!) If you’re too young to remember them (or too old to remember ANYTHING! (like me)), there was a 1960s sci-fi show called Thunderbirds, full of neat spaceships and submarines and airplanes, all piloted by marionettes. It was a hit across the world, running in 66 countries, and spawning several movies (including a pathetic live-action movie 11 years ago) and a highly lucrative toy empire.

Now, 50 years later, they’re back! Yep – in the same studios in Slough, England, with the son of the creator Gerry Anderson as part of the staff, and with no heretical CGI, a group are making 3 new Thunderbirds adventures. They are using audio recordings never used on the original show to keep the voices correct, and they have recreated not only all the sets and models, but also the marionettes who were the stars of the show. There was no hint of a release date in the BBC story I saw, but for those of us who grew up with Thunderbird 2 models from Dinky toys (guilty), this is a truly monumental event. So go to your attic, dig out your models, polish up Lady Penelope’s FAB 1 six-wheeled car, and try not to drool too much as you wait for those epic words, spoken in a rich baritone …….

“Thunderbirds … are Go!”

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