I’ve Outdone Captain Kirk!

It’s rare for a fan to be able to put himself into the shoes of a beloved character from a future, fictional television show. It’s rarer still to be able to claim to have one-upped that character. But just this evening, I realised that I have indeed outdone Captain James T. Kirk!

Yeah, yeah, I know. As Ricky Ricardo would say, I’ve “got some ‘splainin’ to do”. (This is where the bragging starts. The staff highly recommends you tune out know. Anyone staying does so at their own risk.)

During the original series of “Star Trek”, first season, there is an episode called “The Naked Time”, where an alien disease causes people to lose emotional control. Kirk’s line is to complain about loving the Enterprise, and the fact that the ship keeps him from loving a human (or any given alien, knowing Kirk) woman. In particular, he bemoans never having “a beach to walk on”. Later, while on the bridge and still suffering the disease, he looks longingly at Yeoman Janice Rand, and says “no beach to walk on” under his breath.

Yes, I’ve outdone him! In particular, I got the once-in-a-lifetime chance to, quite literally, walk along a beach in Ensenada, Mexico, with the 20-years-older-but-still-ravishing Grace Lee Whitney, the actress who played Yeoman Rand.

So suck it, Kirk! I got your beautiful woman AND a beach to walk along with her. In your 300-years-in-the-future FACE!!

(Thank you for your time and patience. We now return you to reality, already in progress.)

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This entry was posted in Humor, Romance, Science Fiction, TV Stars and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to I’ve Outdone Captain Kirk!

  1. Wow. That’s such a specific one-upmanship.

    • Well, when the last ten years of my life have sucked harder than a supermassive black hole, ya kinda take what you can get! πŸ˜€ Besides, Grace was my first crush, back in the 70’s watching Trek in syndication, so it’s sort of a double checkoff on the bucket list – get to spend a weekend escorting your childhood crush around a cruise ship with a stop at Ensenada, AND get to outdo your favourite starship captain. (And yes, I truly am that warped – but you already knew that. πŸ˜€ )

      • I like the way you think. Maybe it’s not too late for me to take a cruise with Olivia Newton-John or Jane Seymour.

      • I’d vote for ONJ. I saw her on some entertainment show recently, and she looks good! Can’t vouch for Jane Seymour. Personally, if it was any woman from the world of entertainment, I’d go for Jamie Lee Curtis. Ever seen the movie “True Lies” with Arnold Schwizennfoozer? Hatchee-mama!

  2. kirizar says:

    I’m sorry…I got distracted by the words ‘naked’ and ‘Star Trek!’

    • Sorry, my Spam filter on WP seems to have gotten rather grabby. I can’t vouch too much for naked Star Trek folk, though I can etll you that Marina Sirtis was absolutely stunning in a skimpy one-piece bathing suit. (Though I always thought Walter Koenig is pretty cute. πŸ˜‰ )

  3. Archon's Den says:

    I see the other three as ‘lady’-like, but Jamie Lee??! I get the picture of thigh-high six-inch heeled boots, a riding crop, and the line, “You’ve been a Baaad boy.” Still, for a few extra bucks…. πŸ˜‰
    Well done crewman. Carry on. Oh wait, that’s what you were doing .

    • You seem to disapprove of the concept of Jamie Lee as a dominatrix. Puzzling. Or perhaps an ironic statement? πŸ˜‰ I was thinking more of her long and varied career, as well as being the daughter of the great Tony Curtis, but if that’s her outfit of choice, I would think a hearty “Hell yeah!” would be in order, no? πŸ˜€

      Oh, and as for your order, well, “Dammit Jim, I’m an engineer, not a crewman!”

      • Archon's Den says:

        Oh no, I heartily approve. I am saving my (non-existent Canadian) pennies, even now. The great Benny Hill once remarked, “A woman like that could ruin a man….if he were lucky!”
        She does have good genes – and good jeans. She’s had a good career. I loved her with Arnold in True Lies.
        As for obeying orders, mine or anyone else’s, I took a poll of people near you with names that started with T, and the description ‘engineer’ was not the first one mentioned. πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜†

      • Um … while I don’t doubt there aren’t many engineers around here (professional drunk and welfare recipient being the top two, no doubt), I’m a bit confused as to why you’d look for people who’s name starts with T. If you were refering to my wife, I think the proper technical term for her job at Wal-Mart is “Asshole Wrangler”. πŸ˜€

        And your money could be worse. England’s banknotes are now plastic. Can’t burn it if your theft or drug-dealing is discovered, but it DOES last longer when buried…..

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