To the members of England’s World Cup team, the fans of said team, lovers of football around the world (soccer to us heathens here in the States), and to lovers of sports everywhere:
I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. I am a jonah, a jinx, an albatross around the neck of England’s poor team. (And yes, I have no bloody flavour, I’m a bloomin’ sea bird.) I caused your squad to lose not one, but both of it’s first two games. I did it, and I’m sorry.
I should’ve known better. While not a truly avid fan of sports (except those involving cars), I have dabbled in rooting for various NFL Franchises (including my hometown Bears), and have followed those Doormats of the National League (the Cubs, to those unfamiliar with Steve Goodman’s anthem) on a hit-and-miss basis. (Mostly “miss” for the Cubbies, at least since 1945.) Whenever I would start following a team more closely, they would inevitably start to lose – badly. Whenever I would let my attention drift, they would just as inevitably start to win. Had I born in mind my abilities to destroy a team’s possibilities, I would never have written my post “That Time Again, or Will Three Lions Roar?”. I would, instead, simply pointed my readers to the outstanding BBC-sponsored poem ad accompanying video. But no, I had to pay attention to the poor English squad. And now they’re out of the World Cup for 2014.
So once again, to all those of you who had hopes, money, or both backing England’s chances, it’s all my fault they lost. Don’t blame them, save your slings and arrows for me. (But no financial suits – my fortune is NOT outrageous, it is non-existent!) I did it, and I am sorry.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to see if there are any OSU sports upcoming. 😉