Contrary to popular opinion, I have not been killed, kidnapped, swallowed by a black hole, or taken back to my homeworld. Yet. (I’m kinda pissed – they’re already two weeks late. Gonna have to chew out the chief engineer – he may not be as good as Scotty, but he’s a dang-sight thinner! 😉 ) I am gradually working my way back into things (yeah, yeah, I know you’ve heard that all before), but it’ll take a little (actually, a LOT) of work, so please be patient.
My unexpected silence was due to … well, the easiest way to put it is, a realisation that I’m stuck. I was brought up with the idea of “fixing” your situation. Need more money? Get a better job or a promotion. Don’t like your house? Fix it up, paint it up, expand it. (The curse of having an extraordinarily-handy father.) Throughout my life, I’ve followed that pattern. I had an interruption when my headaches arrived with a passion in 1999, until I ended up in a friends’ guest bedroom in 2002, laid too low by my headaches to do anything except watch DVD movies. When we were forced to move out in 2004, the old pattern returned – first we fixed up the trailer we rented, then moved onto our current house. I lost over 50 pounds, my wife nearly the same and got better jobs to boot. All seemed to be going well.
But this past Christmas (Christmas is a hard time for me these days, separated from my family and old hometown friends), following the enjoyable Company For Christmas, I got to reflecting on things. And I realised – I’ve stopped moving. Our chances of selling this house even for breakeven is unlikely. I can’t get a real job due to my health and the meds I take, and my wife doesn’t have any college degrees, so she’s pretty stuck as well. The problems with our cars are beyond my limited talents to fix, and my days are split between boring maintenance on the house and the same pattern of exploring topics online with movies playing in the background. And that was a pattern I had seen before, and it scared the crap outta me.
So what happened? Nothing, really, except (and here’s the sappy sentimental part) I started missing my online friends. Y’all might just be electron-induced spectres, but you’re MY electron-induced spectres, dang it! 😀
So I’m gonna work my way back into your hearts – and then, via your spines, into your brains, where I will annoy the PISS outta ya! In other words, …… I’m BAAAA-AACK! 😛