…have been only slightly exaggerated. I’ll start with an apology to my regulars, folks who comment here and who I (used to) annoy regularly. My absence was unplanned, but I should have dropped some kind of status report. For my negligence, I’m truly sorry.
Depression is a word you hear a lot, and hear a lot about. The problem is, depression is a vague term for a condition with wildly differing symptoms, and equally varied methods of treatment. “Big D” is an old friend of mine – he’s been with me since a traumatic change of houses back in my summer leading into 5th grade. In my case, I’ve usually been able to “push through the wall” and get on with life, with brief ventings ranging from smashing things to total breakdown into a “don’t give a damn” sitting on my butt fest, lasting a couple days at worst. My longest and worst battle was my epic health crash back in 2001, where I lost a house, dog, and job all in a few months. I shut down totally for over 2 years, laid on a bed and watched DVDs all day, literally stoned out of my mind. Having finally triumphed in that battle, I thought I had knocked “Big D” on his butt, if not out of my life for good. I got past other beloved pets’ deaths, and even worked through the traumatic time-delayed discovery of my mother’s death. I thought I had moved on, growing wise in my old age.
Yeah – BOY was I wrong!
I can’t point to one thing that set me off. Yeah, my mastiff Sam’s death hurt, but I got past that. I had some minor feelings of being unappreciated in my work with the church across the street, but that was small potatoes. I’m still not sure what started it, but “Big D” found a sneaky way to get to me. He tried a new tactic, the insidious whisper. “Just skip checking Email today.” Not that big a sin for one day, right? And then one becomes two, becomes four, becomes a week. And so on. “Well, you haven’t posted anything, so why check other folks’ blogs?” Again, a day or two is no biggie. And I “rewarded” myself with a wide-ranging Internet info-fest, studying all sorts of useless stuff – after all, I deserved some kind of R&R, right?
But I recently realised it was the same slippery slope as 12 years ago. A slope that would leave me isolated, even more “blue”, trying to entertain myself with tales of warships long gone while the world passed me by.
Well, I’ve decided to stop listening to that insidious whisper. I gave “Big D” a kick in the rear, and he’s outta here. Now, I have to slog through an inbox that hasn’t been opened in over two months. It’ll take some time, but I’ll be back – and with tales of idiot neighbors on their way outta my life, some really cool neighbors inbound, and all the varied tales of lunacy you’ve come to expect. It’ll take time, but before you know it, I’ll be annoying y’all again.
Consider yourselves warned. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid….. 😉