Rumours Of My Passing…..

…have been only slightly exaggerated. I’ll start with an apology to my regulars, folks who comment here and who I (used to) annoy regularly. My absence was unplanned, but I should have dropped some kind of status report. For my negligence, I’m truly sorry.

Depression is a word you hear a lot, and hear a lot about. The problem is, depression is a vague term for a condition with wildly differing symptoms, and equally varied methods of treatment. “Big D” is an old friend of mine – he’s been with me since a traumatic change of houses back in my summer leading into 5th grade. In my case, I’ve usually been able to “push through the wall” and get on with life, with brief ventings ranging from smashing things to total breakdown into a “don’t give a damn” sitting on my butt fest, lasting a couple days at worst. My longest and worst battle was my epic health crash back in 2001, where I lost a house, dog, and job all in a few months. I shut down totally for over 2 years, laid on a bed and watched DVDs all day, literally stoned out of my mind. Having finally triumphed in that battle, I thought I had knocked “Big D” on his butt, if not out of my life for good. I got past other beloved pets’ deaths, and even worked through the traumatic time-delayed discovery of my mother’s death. I thought I had moved on, growing wise in my old age.

Yeah – BOY was I wrong!

I can’t point to one thing that set me off. Yeah, my mastiff Sam’s death hurt, but I got past that. I had some minor feelings of being unappreciated in my work with the church across the street, but that was small potatoes. I’m still not sure what started it, but “Big D” found a sneaky way to get to me. He tried a new tactic, the insidious whisper. “Just skip checking Email today.” Not that big a sin for one day, right? And then one becomes two, becomes four, becomes a week. And so on. “Well, you haven’t posted anything, so why check other folks’ blogs?” Again, a day or two is no biggie. And I “rewarded” myself with a wide-ranging Internet info-fest, studying all sorts of useless stuff – after all, I deserved some kind of R&R, right?

But I recently realised it was the same slippery slope as 12 years ago. A slope that would leave me isolated, even more “blue”, trying to entertain myself with tales of warships long gone while the world passed me by.

Well, I’ve decided to stop listening to that insidious whisper. I gave “Big D” a kick in the rear, and he’s outta here. Now, I have to slog through an inbox that hasn’t been opened in over two months. It’ll take some time, but I’ll be back – and with tales of idiot neighbors on their way outta my life, some really cool neighbors inbound, and all the varied tales of lunacy you’ve come to expect. It’ll take time, but before you know it, I’ll be annoying y’all again.

Consider yourselves warned. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid….. 😉

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30 Responses to Rumours Of My Passing…..

  1. 1jaded1 says:

    Welcome the heck back. Whispers are worse than screams, sometimes.

    • Isn’t there an old saying about the devil whispering sweet words? That’s the problem – with all the little whispering voices in my head, ol’ D snuck in under cover. Gotta keep my guard up more! 😀

  2. whiteladyinthehood says:

    Hey John! Good to hear from you! Looking forward to any new posts you feel like sharing.
    (I had to put one of my dogs asleep, last week, I know how very hard that can be)

    • Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that! We are definitely going to find a new pooch, but we’re kinda hesitant for now – our cats are starting to channel some of the past dogs we’ve known, including one who has taken to staring up at spots on the ceiling, just like a Border Collie our friends had. Gotta see how this plays out – last thing we need is a possessed dog!

  3. Elyse says:

    Dear John,
    Just keep kicking Big D, whenever you can. Glad those reports were exaggerated.
    Roseann Roseanna Dana was right, you know. It’s always something.
    Welcome back.

    • Thanks, Elyse. Trust me, my time away has NOT been boring, and upcoming posts will tell tales of “if it ain’t one thing, it’s another”. Sometimes, boring really IS a good thing! 🙂

  4. unfetteredbs says:

    Sooo glad to see you!! Welcome back.

  5. Phew! Rants and I thought you might be dead and how would we ever know! Glad to hear your voice again…welcome back buddy. We missed you. (And there’s a pic of me in a bikini on my blog you old perv!)

    • Oh, never fear, dear lady. You would know QUITE well if I had died – Heaven and Hell would be at war, neither one wanting me! Besides, ‘Rants was still showing small signs of sanity last I checked, so I still have some work to do! 😯
      Bikini pics, eh? Thanks for the heads up – gotta get my printer working, so I can send off for a life-sized vinyl wall sticker of my very own – right next to the pic of Marina Sirtis (from Star Trek Next Gen) in the skintight semi-see-through one-piece I got a shot of on a cruise. Ain’t technology wonderful? 😉

  6. Welcome back! (and thanks for the warning…)

  7. El Guapo says:

    Fantastic! Glad to hear you’re still haning in there.

    Umm…who are you again? 😉

  8. benzeknees says:

    I have been worrying about you John! You crossed my mind at least 3 times in the last week because I was thinking about a book review I need to do – a book I would really love for you to read & give me your opinion about facts since you are so wise about war.
    I can understand depression – I have been suffering from chronic depression since I was a teenager. Actually, just had a long talk with hubby recently because he didn’t understand how close I was to “the end” after losing my job a little over a year ago. You give the big D a kick in the butt for me.
    On the bright side, I have started a new series of blog posts called “Life with Kelvin” I think you will really enjoy! Welcome back John, you have been terribly missed!

    • Sorry about the delay getting back to you, a bunch of my notifications have gone missing. Do you still need me to do that review thing for you? If so, email me the title and details, and I’ll get to it post haste.
      And thanks for your welcome back. It’s VERY nice to know people actually notice when I’m missing!

  9. tom says:

    Hey, welcome back. If our junk brighens your day, you must have been depressed 🙂

  10. Good to see you. Kick D’s butt…and then throw a punch for good measure.

  11. aFrankAngle says:

    Welcome back John! I knew you weren’t dead, but I did wonder if the weedwacker had gotten the best of you.

    • Thanks, Frank. Actually, the church ended up firing me, so no more whacking yards of fence, two different building, and what seems like miles of sidewalk. No more sweating my hoohah off, straining my shoulders or hurting my already-damaged hip. Gosh – what a total bummer – NOT! 😀

  12. Archon's Den says:

    Better late than never, welcome back buddy. For different reasons, I’ve been doing the same thing. Gotta get caught up. :D:

  13. Pingback: Lost In Thought | Archon's Den

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