Or, Why I Say “Nuts” For Several Reasons
Welcome to December 22nd. The day on which I stand proudly in front of the world and proclaim “Nuts!” for several reasons.
1) Because I am, completely, certifiably, and irrevocably crazy. But that’s every day.
2) Because 68 years ago, General Anthony McAuliffe of the 101st Airborne answered a German request for the surrender of his troops in the Belgian town of Bastogne with that exact phrase.
Well, sort of. When he was first handed the request for surrender from the German envoy, he exclaimed “Nuts!” in frustration. He then debated for a bit on what answer to send, and when he admitted he was stymied, a junior officer said “Well, sir, I don’t think you can beat what you first said.” He asked what he had said, grinned when he was reminded, and wrote the answer on the sheet of paper that the German commander had sent him. When the note was returned to the envoy, the Germans at first did not understand what “nuts” meant. It was described that it meant the same as “go to Hell”, which the Germans DID understand.
3) Because the dang Mayans were wrong. Okay, it wasn’t really their fault, it was a bunch of idiots who interpreted the end of a calendar cycle as the End Of The World. Best comparison I found: “Does the world end every December 31st when your calendar does? Heck no – and the Mayans didn’t say it did.” Still and all, with that wonderful movie “2012″, I really did want to see California drop into the ocean. Nothing against California or Californians – I love both. But c’mon, wouldn’t have that TRULY been epic?
4) And finally, and because those Mayans (or whoever) were wrong, and because the sun
DID come up this morning (even if I couldn’t see it), because I turned 50. Yeah, I’m in my fifties. Over the hill, on the downward slope. With less time on this planet than I’ve lived here – unless I’m REALLY lucky.
So if you know anyone else born on this day, walk up to them, grip their hand, look straight in their eyes, and tell them in a clear, loud voice:
“I’m so sorry!”
Then just walk away. My little birthday present to everybody. Hey, I’ve got 50 years of being warped to live up to!